The Crier

A Troika of Secrets

Forest Casey · Ann Arbor Secrets · Mar 20, 2007

Publishing just one of these secrets would be nothing but a tease, an affront to the great deviousness of this column. But the combination of all three? That will be enough to get you through the next week with some deviousness to spare.

It’s not stealing, honest!

Since the dawn of the iPod, major retailers with demo computers have fretted over the idea of a hard drive small enough to be concealable but with enough capacity to hold thousands of dollars of software.

And when it’s as easy as plugging in your iPod and dragging the software to the iPod icon, who can blame them for their concern? To stave off drag-and-drop theft, many of them have encoded systems so that desktop applications can’t be moved or copied without an administrator’s password.

Our fair university has done the same with most of the programs on the library computer loadsets. Expensive programs like the Adobe Creative Suite either can’t be copied or just won’t work on any computer other than the one on which they were initially installed.

But that’s not true of all software. Namely, the soon-to-be outdated iLife ‘06 from Apple. This includes both Pages (a program for easy graphic design and layout) and Keynote (Apple’s answer to Microsoft PowerPoint).

I’ve never had much use for Pages, but Keynote is worth an entire Secrets article on its own. Just check out the 3-D transitions, which have literally woken up audiences during dimly lit school presentations.

A presentation made in Keynote is an almost guaranteed A. And that’s worth the moral guilt of a little petty theft, right? If you have a Mac at home and an iPod in your pocket and still don’t have iLife ‘06, just plug in to the iMacs at the UGLi and start stealing.

The Dennison Bonus Door

Walking into Dennison feels like walking back into high school.

Anything that makes the cinder block experience that embodies the dull building a little bit better is a worthy secret in my book. My favorite of these is the bonus door.

If you walk along the west side of the building, you will find a black door on the north side that leads directly to the stairs. This eliminates the tedious three or four seconds necessary to walk around the corner, enter through the two-door set, and then open the door to the stairs.

The only catch is that this door has no handle on the outside. But given the torture of the rest of the building, this isn’t bad. The secret is to catch the door at just as people are filing down the stairs and out of the building. It takes perfect timing (and sometimes an awkward sprint across the sidewalk to catch the door before it shuts), but it’s enough to make that Dennison experience just a little bit less insulting. At least until you get to the stairs.

The Zingerman’s Discount

Like half the population of Ann Arbor, I stood in line this past Thursday for Zingerman’s 25th anniversary Reuben special. For those who didn’t brave the cold wind that swept down both Ann and Detroit streets, last Thursday’s Reuben was set at its 1982 price: $5. Zingerman’s sold enough Reubens to keep the line long from 6:30 in the morning to close.

Of course, like everything at Zingerman’s, it was a brilliant business move. Many had their first Zingerman’s sandwich on its 25th anniversary, and those that had it were newly tempted with the more pricey items. Everyone in line next to me expressed the same wistful desire: If only the venerable deli could offer the friendly $5 price every day.

But, alas, there are no cheap deals at Zingerman’s. Or so I thought.

Just down Huron, at the similarly expensive Zingerman’s Roadhouse, where a fried chicken dinner goes for a hot $20, they run a blue plate special most every night for the unbeatable price of $12.95. Needless to say, this is cheaper than many of their sandwiches. And the blue plates are generous, too.

The special changes every night, but my personal recommendation is the Sunday night grillades and grits blue plate, with beef from the famous Niman Ranch and authentic grits shipped from my hometown mill in Columbia, South Carolina.

It’s the perfect date spot, showing that you’re cultured enough to know where to find great food, and smart enough to get it on the cheap.