The Crier

Never Worry About Online Homework Again

Forest Casey · Ann Arbor Secrets · Mar 12, 2007

This world is nothing without a sense of justice. I’ve been subjected to some spectacularly awful dates over the past half year and Justice’s scales would remain ever skewed if I wasn’t an awful date myself from time to time.

This past Friday, I finally got my chance. The date started splendidly with popcorn and a particularly violent movie, but took an embarrassing turn when I realized that I had to cut out early… to do Physics homework online.

Undergraduates should have 11:00 p.m. on Fridays burned into their mental calendars. This is when the Wiley Plus publishing company closes its online doors, signifying the deadline for online Chemistry, Physics and Calculus homework.

Needless to say, this deadline has a way of cutting into one’s social life. Those who sensibly complete homework ahead of time are likely too sensible to have a social life.

So what are the rest of us to do?

Well, online homework of any kind has one critical weakness: It’s online. And if it’s online, students can discuss each problem and share answers. And if professors create a chat room for people to discuss class topics, they’re creating the perfect storm for procrastination.

I’m here to tell you that the storm has come. You’ll never have to worry about online homework again.

In every chat room on the Ctools webpage right now, students are exchanging methods and giving away hints. All you need to do to join in is point your web browser to the Chat Room feature and search (“Apple-F” on a Mac and “Ctrl-F” on a PC) for the problem that’s giving you trouble. You’ll find all the help you need — from methods to equations. Just plug in your unique values and you’ll get all the answers right.

And one last piece of advice — don’t tell the date you ditched about this method. Trust me, cheating on your homework doesn’t make you seem any smarter.